Freedom (finished, 1000×707 mm)


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Work in progress


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The Queen of Darkness (my Skyrim character)


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That moment.


Have you ever felt like crying but couldn’t? And that just because you needed to be  strong for your loved ones? Because that’s me right now and I’m breaking on the inside. I’m tired of seeing my folks sad, angry and tired themselves. There’s no way they could do more that they already are and it’s never enough. I have no power in this matter and it’s killing me on the inside. This is the only place I can express myself since they don’t read my blog or understand english too well.

I’m pretty sure that I can’t afford to show weakness now, so I’m writting. And I’ll keep writing my ass off and who knows, maybe I’ll feel a bit better. I want to help but I’m pretty useless right now and there’s like absolutely nothing I can do about it. I feel like I could leave at any point and just run away, but that would mean leaving everything behind and it’s not right. I want to be strong but I swear I can’t now. And the worst part is that I have no one to talk to. I’m not able to talk about this without crying. For fuck’s sake, I’m not even able to write without crying, but I have to. I need loud agressive music, a white wall and a pencil to express myself. That’s not  going to happen, but it would help a lot to just scream am draw it all out.

Yeah, this is me breaking apart. I know you come here for pretty drawings, but you’re not going to see it for a while, because I can’t focus on anything. Not even on making my coffee since I put salt in it this morning. I hate this world so much sometimes Im wondering how I would end it. But no, ’cause I have to be the strong one. Again. Always. I’m so fucking tired.

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I (brain) you.


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Howl


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Coffee art.


 

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